Lead Your Heart

Do you believe the old adage, “follow your heart?” It sounds like a very romantic notion. It seems that whatever the heart wants, we should indulge. If we feel something so strongly, then it seems as if we should follow that emotional pull. Do you make decisions based on what your heart is telling you? Well, if you answered yes, please allow me to explain why this is not necessarily a good idea.

Sometimes, following our emotions is not the right course of action. If we allow our emotions to take over, we tend to lose our discernment. This can lead to trouble. Time and time again, all throughout Scripture, we are warned about the folly of being led by pure emotion without using sound judgement. In Proverbs 21:5 it says, “The plans of the diligent lead only to abundance;
but all who rush in arrive only at want.” If we do not take the time to think things through, we could cause much trouble and distress for ourselves.

As a therapist, I am constantly reminding my clients not to make a permanent decision based on temporary emotions. For example, I work with many couples who are dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. Often, those who cheat do so because they are following emotions. Although some of those who cheat do end up leaving their marriages, most realize they made a terrible mistake as they are faced with the destruction of their families. Many who cheat do so to escape some type of distress, whether that distress is within the marital relationship or within themselves. They seek the escape of the affair because they lack good coping and reasoning skills. They do not think about the ramifications of their behavior until it is too late. They cause devastation and pain because they followed their hearts and failed to take their brains with them.

It is so important to take a pause and think things through before we act. Emotions feel very strong at times, but if we allow them to lead us, we could be led into some troubling circumstances. The Bible provides countless examples of the harm that following emotions can cause. From the very beginning, in the book of Genesis, we see how Cain killed his brother because of anger (Genesis 4:8). In the book of 1 Samuel, Saul went mad with anger and jealousy over the fact that David had become God’s anointed and he had been rejected. He caused much tumult and a feud that dragged on and on.

I am not saying that emotions are wrong or bad. The Good Lord created us as emotional beings, some more emotional than others. However, He also gave us the ability to reason, discern and use logic. We may not always know what the right course of action is and, at those times, we are challenged to look to God and allow His Ruach (spirit) to guide us. One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.” The point is this. We may not always have the answer, no matter how much we reason out a situation or a problem, but we must always have control over our very strong emotions and not allow them to lead us in the wrong direction. In Galatians 5:22-23, Paul says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ humility, self control. Nothing in the Torah stands against such things.” Patience allows us to fully consider all available information. Humility is important to guard against acting in arrogance and self-control stops us from engaging in behaviors that result from strong emotions.

The lesson to be learned is very simple. Think before you act. Take a pause and really scrutinize whether your decision to act is based on the solid foundation of thought and self-control or whether you are walking upon the shaky ground of uncontrolled emotion. I am not suggesting that you suppress or completely ignore what you are feeling. Emotions can be very helpful, but they should be only one of many factors in your decision making process. I would like to end with a quote from the movie Fireproof, directed by Alex Kendrick. My feeling about the adage “Follow your heart” is summed up by this statement, “Don’t follow your heart, because it can be deceived. You have to lead your heart.”