Don't Wait Until It Is Too Late

I do not like to dwell in regret and I truly believe that, for the most part, regret serves no purpose. However, I admit that I do have a few. One of those regrets concerns my friend Jen. I have written about her before. Jen and I met when we were both counselors at a summer camp. Before we got to know each other, we both were secretly envious of the other. Jen was just one of those cool, fun people that you wanted as your friend. I did not think she would give me the time of day and, little did I know, she was thinking the same about me. Thankfully, we both broke through whatever assumptions we had and we became friends.

We grew very close and stayed friends all through college. She was even a bridesmaid in my wedding. Sadly, as time went on, we slowly lost touch with one another. I was wrapped up in marriage and working and she was doing her single girl thing. We caught up a few years after I got married. She was living in Hoboken, NJ and working in NY. It was great catching up with her and I was so happy for her because she was really doing fabulously, as I knew she would be, but, again, we lost touch. Then not too long ago, I was thinking about her and I decided to search for her on Facebook, but I could not find her. I then sent a message to her step sister, who was an old friend from junior high school, and I asked how Jen was doing. It was almost as if I was punched in the gut when she told me that Jen died from colon cancer back in 2005. She said that it was a horrible tragedy because up until the day she went into the ER with severe abdominal pain, she had no symptoms. Jen and her husband were so happy and were planning to start a family. Then she went to the ER and was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.  The disease moved rapidly and Jen lost her battle.

I regret that I waited so long to get back in touch with Jen. I missed out on several years of having an amazing friend. We lost touch, not because we had a falling out, but simply because life had taken us in different directions. Over the years, I had always thought about her and I wondered what she was doing. I smiled as I remembered the fun and hysterical times we shared together. I always thought, “I know we will eventually get back in touch. There is plenty of time.” Well, turns out, there was not. Oh how I wish I had reached out to her sooner, much sooner, but I was just too late.

Folks, I share this story with you because I want this to be a reminder that time is fleeting and it is a fickle friend. I thought I had all the time in the world to catch up with Jen. Jen thought she had all the time in the world to have a baby. We all think we have all the time in the world to do this or that. Let this be a lesson to all of us that we may not. It says in Psalm 90:12, “So teach us to count our days, so that we will become wise.” Complacency is a funny thing. We human beings are the only living things that are cognizant of our mortality, yet we walk about in a perpetual state of denial about it. I suppose we have to be in order to function, but the negative side of that is the complacency keeps us from embracing the important parts of life. Time is something we think we have plenty of, but as Jen reminds us, we do not necessarily have the amount we think we have. That alone should make us wise enough to realize that we should do the things we want to do before it is too late, like re-connect with old friends, mend rifts in relationships, and tell those whom we love how much we love them and what they mean to us.

As my mother always says, no one is promised tomorrow. Please do not take this message as something negative. My hope is that, if you have read this post in its entirety, then you will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose. Seize the day. Live life to its fullest. Love those whom you love with all your might. Let go of anger, resentment, and grudges. Embrace today and seek its joy with fervor.  I know that if Jen were still here, that is exactly what she would be doing. God bless!