Aging with grace?

I am working through my midlife crisis, so please bear with me. I am 47. The good news is that, on the outside, I am doing pretty well. Not to brag, but I am often told that I appear much younger than my age. People are genuinely surprised that I have 21-year-old twins and, no, I did not have them in my teens. I am pretty physically fit and all of my organs are functioning in tip-top condition. That’s all good. Now the bad news. I have a very bad neck and when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I am about 90 years old until the hot water from the shower loosens me up. Once I get moving, I am ok. Every day there seems to be a new ache or pain. I have also been using reading glasses for about a year and a half now. I see grays starting to come in, but they are still blending well, so I haven’t had to start coloring my hair yet. I admit that I am not brave enough to allow myself to just go gray. So, that’s my aging process thus far. Isn’t it grand? (sarcasm)

Having said all of that, I hope my joking tone came through as you read my words because I am actually doing alright with my aging process. However, watching people around me age has been difficult. I am blessed and grateful to still have both of my parents and both of my in-laws. At this stage of life, it is beginning to really sink in that age is gaining on them. My dad is going through something presently that has us all very anxious and upset. He has really been showing his age these past few years and it is difficult to watch. My mom has her medical issues, but she still looks younger than her age, although she doesn’t believe that. My mother in law has pretty debilitating orthopedic issues and my father in law, who is now 82 but had always looked terrific for his age, is being hit with the aging monster too. 

My kids have taken for granted that they have all 4 of their grandparents at their age. I try to remind them, without too much guilt imposed, that I really only had my maternal grandmother growing up and she died when I was 16. I regret not spending more time with her because she really had quite an interesting history. Regret is a difficult emotion to live with, which is why I remind my kids not to forget their grandparents and to be grateful they still have them.

It isn’t just my parents and in-laws whom I am watching age; it is also the people in my own generation whom I am starting to see struggle with various ailments that would have been unheard of years ago. First, there is my husband. Don’t get me wrong. He’s still looks fantastic, but he too is using reading glasses. His hip is so filled with arthritis that he walks like an old man. He will definitely need a hip replacement sooner rather than later. He recently found out that he has high triglycerides, which was never an issue before. Then there are the recommended screenings that come with age and you better believe I have been nagging him to get his colonoscopy, because he is now 50.

Then there are my siblings. I am the youngest of 3. My sister is 7 years older than I and my brother is 4 years older. My sister has always suffered with various maladies, but I recently heard from my mother that my brother is dealing with issues he never would have dreamed about in his worst nightmares. Without going into any detail, let’s just say it’s something no man would ever want to experience, and I will leave it at that! I have peers who have been diagnosed with cancer. I have people my age coming through the cancer center with various cancers. It’s just hitting me lately that time is taking its toll on people and it’s hitting very close to home.

Rather than allowing myself to slip into a depression and entering into a full-fledged midlife crisis, I lean on my faith to give me encouragement and strength. My parents are also people of faith, so I have no fear about where they will go when they eventually part this world and I also know we will be reunited, but the thought of that loss is too much to imagine right now. I remember when my grandmother died and how I was a typical self-absorbed teenager. Knowing what I know now, I feel terrible that I wasn’t more of a comfort to my mom. I know she suffered very intense grief when her mother died and she still misses her wisdom and love. I dread the day when I will feel that grief. However, this much I know. God will be with us and he will comfort us with His everlasting love and peace.

 In the meantime, I will remind myself that this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24)! That’s what we all have to do because none of us are promised tomorrow. As much as I can complain about the aging process, I also have to remember that it is better than the alternative and it is an experience denied to many. So I will rejoice over every new gray hair; I will be encouraged by every new ache and pain, and I will do my best to age gracefully. I hope you do as well. God bless!