I am working through my midlife crisis, so please bear
with me. I am 47. The good news is that, on the outside, I am doing pretty well.
Not to brag, but I am often told that I appear much younger than my age. People
are genuinely surprised that I have 21-year-old twins and, no, I did not have
them in my teens. I am pretty physically fit and all of my organs are
functioning in tip-top condition. That’s all good. Now the bad news. I have a
very bad neck and when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I am about 90
years old until the hot water from the shower loosens me up. Once I get moving,
I am ok. Every day there seems to be a new ache or pain. I have also been using
reading glasses for about a year and a half now. I see grays starting to come
in, but they are still blending well, so I haven’t had to start coloring my
hair yet. I admit that I am not brave enough to allow myself to just go gray.
So, that’s my aging process thus far. Isn’t it grand? (sarcasm)
Having said all of that, I hope my joking tone came
through as you read my words because I am actually doing alright with my aging
process. However, watching people around me age has been difficult. I am
blessed and grateful to still have both of my parents and both of my in-laws.
At this stage of life, it is beginning to really sink in that age is gaining on
them. My dad is going through something presently that has us all very anxious
and upset. He has really been showing his age these past few years and it is
difficult to watch. My mom has her medical issues, but she still looks younger
than her age, although she doesn’t believe that. My mother in law has pretty debilitating
orthopedic issues and my father in law, who is now 82 but had always looked
terrific for his age, is being hit with the aging monster too.
My kids have
taken for granted that they have all 4 of their grandparents at their age. I
try to remind them, without too much guilt imposed, that I really only had my
maternal grandmother growing up and she died when I was 16. I regret not
spending more time with her because she really had quite an interesting
history. Regret is a difficult emotion to live with, which is why I remind my
kids not to forget their grandparents and to be grateful they still have them.
It isn’t just my parents and in-laws whom I am watching
age; it is also the people in my own generation whom I am starting to see
struggle with various ailments that would have been unheard of years ago. First,
there is my husband. Don’t get me wrong. He’s still looks fantastic, but he too
is using reading glasses. His hip is so filled with arthritis that he walks
like an old man. He will definitely need a hip replacement sooner rather than
later. He recently found out that he has high triglycerides, which was never an
issue before. Then there are the recommended screenings that come with age and
you better believe I have been nagging him to get his colonoscopy, because he
is now 50.
Then there are my siblings. I am the youngest of 3. My
sister is 7 years older than I and my brother is 4 years older. My sister has
always suffered with various maladies, but I recently heard from my mother that
my brother is dealing with issues he never would have dreamed about in his
worst nightmares. Without going into any detail, let’s just say it’s something
no man would ever want to experience, and I will leave it at that! I have peers
who have been diagnosed with cancer. I have people my age coming through the
cancer center with various cancers. It’s just hitting me lately that time is
taking its toll on people and it’s hitting very close to home.
Rather than allowing myself to slip into a depression and entering into a full-fledged midlife crisis,
I lean on my faith to give me encouragement and strength. My parents are also
people of faith, so I have no fear about where they will go when they
eventually part this world and I also know we will be reunited, but the thought
of that loss is too much to imagine right now. I remember when my grandmother
died and how I was a typical self-absorbed teenager. Knowing what I know now, I
feel terrible that I wasn’t more of a comfort to my mom. I know she suffered
very intense grief when her mother died and she still misses her wisdom and
love. I dread the day when I will feel that grief. However, this much I know.
God will be with us and he will comfort us with His everlasting love and peace.
In the meantime, I will remind myself that this is the day the Lord has made
and I will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24)! That’s what we all have to do because
none of us are promised tomorrow. As much as I can complain about the aging
process, I also have to remember that it is better than the alternative and it
is an experience denied to many. So I will rejoice over every new gray hair; I
will be encouraged by every new ache and pain, and I will do my best to age gracefully.
I hope you do as well. God bless!
