Have you ever heard the saying, "Stop looking in the rear view mirror; you're not going that way"? Think about what that means. Basically, it means that we need to stop looking backwards and let the past go. How many of us spend an inordinate amount of time in our heads, lamenting about past mistakes, regrets, and hard times? If that resonates with you, ask yourself how much emotional energy have you been expending while you are living in your head trying to rewrite history. The past is gone. You cannot change what has already occurred. What you can do is learn and use the wisdom that you gained from the experience to create a better future.
I know, it is easier said than done, right? Yes, it takes effort to pull yourself out of your head and learn to be in the present. Look at it this way. You are putting forth an enormous amount of effort ruminating on a past that cannot be changed. Why not use that same emotional energy on an endeavor that will benefit you and help you grow as a person?
One way to get your mind out of the past is to replace the negative intrusive thoughts with positive counterbalancing statements. I always look to Scripture to help me with that. For example, Proverbs 4:25 says: "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze on what is in front of you." The prophet Isaiah writes a tremendous statement about letting go of the past and looking forward with hope to a great future: "Stop dwelling on past events and brooding over times gone by; I am doing something new; it's springing up-can't you see it?" (Isaiah 43:18-19)
The Bible is a great source of positive statements you can use to replace negative thoughts that keep you prisoner to your past regrets. Whether you look to Scripture or not, the important thing to remember is that you have to be active in recognizing when you are in your head rather than being present in your life. You must actively interrupt thoughts that are not productive and that are detrimental to your peace and happiness today. One technique is called thought stopping. You simply picture a stop sign in your mind to interrupt the negative thoughts and then you actively redirect your mind to more positive and productive thoughts, such as the examples I shared. Do whatever works for you, but do something other than indulge thoughts that serve no purpose in your life today.
Wisdom can come only when you allow yourself to learn from the past but not live there. Living in the past and living in regret produces depression, sadness, self-loathing, and misery. Stop doing this to yourself. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and apply the lessons learned to your life so that you can move forward to a hopeful future. It's time to stop looking in the rear view mirror; you are not going that way! God bless!
